


Do You Know Who's Playin'?

by littlehollyleaf



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, PWP without Porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-05
Updated: 2010-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-13 19:53:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9139840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlehollyleaf/pseuds/littlehollyleaf
Summary: Gabriel calls Cas for help after a run in with Lucifer and Sam is left to help the archangel through the aftermath. If you don't understand the title you might want to checkthisout for more perspective.





	1. Chapter 1

Blame [](http://hils.livejournal.com/profile)[**hils**](http://hils.livejournal.com/) for everything.

 

**Do you know who's playin'?**

_part one_

 

The plan is to find a suitable diner for lunch, but the three of them pass at least five without stopping or, more tellingly, complaining, so Sam figures that, really, all they're doing is walking. Aimlessly. It's just that no one's admitted it yet.

Not that the silence is uncomfortable. In fact, if it _was_ questioned, Sam thinks the others, like him, would say they welcome it. There's been a lot of silence between them the last few weeks. Since Jo and Ellen.

That first night of mourning at Bobby's, after they'd burnt the photograph - that had been loud.

No one cried. They'd just worked their way deeper and deeper into Bobby's liquor cabinet until finally Dean had broken the uneasy quiet by throwing a glass in Castiel's general direction, followed by a list of obscenities and bitter accusations. Sam and Bobby had spoken up in the angel's defence, because the guy had been facing _Satan_ for fucks sake, only to have Dean badmouth them in response until the whole thing had degenerated into an out and out shouting match between the hunters with Castiel watching on and accepting the occasional criticism without comment.

Eventually, when building tears and fatigue had worn them down, they'd trailed off and Cas had whispered 'I'm sorry' into the stillness, voice scratchy and even gruffer than usual. Dean had stomped over to him, hand raised like he planned to punch the guy's lights out and then some, but their gazes met when he got close and Dean just stopped. They'd stood there, eyes locked, for what felt like forever, until finally Dean had dropped his hand and head together and scrunched his eyes up tight. Cas had reached out to him then, gripping the other man's shoulder and drawing him in, holding Dean still against his chest while the hunter shook under the tension of holding back when he wanted to let go.

Sam and Bobby pretended not to notice and went their separate ways, leaving the man and his angel together. Bobby to the library with his books and not-so-hidden stash of scotch. Sam to his darkened room upstairs. Empty and alone.

And now they have an understanding of sorts. Enough to know when movement and silence are more important than food at least.

So all three of them stop short in surprise and frustration when the phone starts ringing, Sam and Dean hurriedly patting their jean and jacket pockets to end the offending sound as soon as possible. Sam stops first once the ringtone hits a chorus he doesn't recognise and narrows his eyes at his brother across the angel between them. Dean keeps going a while longer, then frowns and turns to Castiel.

"Dude, it's yours," he says. "Led Zeppelin. The one I changed it to last week, remember?"

Cas blinks, trenchcoat billowing lightly around him in the breeze.

"But... you are the only ones who call me," he answers, making no effort to claim the device, the music still baring from it now clearly identified as coming from him.

Dean shrugs.

"So it's probably your service provider calling with a special offer," he huffs back. "Just answer would ya? And tell them to piss off..."

Castiel blinks again, reaches inside his pocket and pulls out the phone. He eyes it warily for a few seconds, as though suspecting a ghoul might jump out of it if he isn't careful, then looks back to Dean. Only Dean has gone. He and Sam are already moving ahead. With a short sigh Cas flips open the phone and holds it to his ear.

"Hello?"

Dean is pretending he doesn't care about the call but Sam can tell he's listening intently as they walk away, the older man's head cocked slightly to the side. They're moving slowly as well so Dean won't miss anything, and since Sam doesn't want to pace ahead he shortens his steps and listens as well. This means they both catch the shocked, and reverent, exclamation that follows.

" _Gabriel?_ "

Both Winchesters turn back to give Castiel their full attention.

"Yes..." the angel continues, brow deeply furrowed. "I will." He closes the phone and lifts his head.

"That was the Trickster?" Sam asks, because he still hasn't quite got his head around the guy's dual identity yet. "What does he want?"

"I'm... not sure," Castiel answers, looking to the distance. "I have to go."

"Where?" Dean asks at once.

Castiel shakes his head, impatient, as though this isn't the question that matters.

"Something's wrong..." he mutters, which is really no answer at all but the brothers realise it's the best they're gonna get, Castiel seems too awed for much else. A personal message from an archangel will do that to you.

"You're not going anywhere alone," Dean says. A while ago the words might have held a reproach, now they're just a statement of fact. "We'll come with you."

Castiel nods and steps forward to press two fingers to each of their foreheads.

 

***

 

The first thing Sam registers is darkness. He wonders if Cas has taken them inside somewhere, but then cold air and the acrid taste of car fumes and garbage hit the back of his throat. They're outside still, but must have crossed a time zone or two to get here.

Soon after, once his eyes have adjusted, Sam makes out the shape of narrow alley. They're halfway along with a grimy yellow dumpster on their right.

Dean takes a step forward, more accustom to travel-by-angel than his brother, then stops and backs up again.

"Whoa..."

His eyes drop to the ground and Sam and Castiel follow the gaze. There's a pool of blood at their feet, dotted with... feathers?

Cas inhales sharply between them and Sam and Dean turn to find him wide-eyed. They tense and share a look. _Not good_.

Further inspection reveals that the pool of blood is actually a trail. It leads around the dumpster towards a battered phone booth at the alley's mouth. A familiar looking figure is crumpled at the bottom, leaning forward with his forehead on one of the transparent plastic walls. He doesn't _seem_ to be wounded, but more of the blood and matted feathers line the back of his faded green jacket. The phone too, clutched to his chest like a lifeline with the cord pulled to its limit, is spotted with crimson, as is his palm. His eyes are closed.

They all pause for a moment in a mixture of shock and disbelief.

Then Castiel is kneeling beside the archangel without seeming to have moved. He whips back the folded door with a flick of his wrist and leans in, gripping Gabriel's shoulder.

"Gabriel..."

Gabriel makes a sound of surprise and blinks his eyes open. It takes him a while to focus and when he does he tries to smile. It's hard to watch because the way he pushes from the wall and lifts his head, tilting his chin back a little, makes it clear he's trying for his usual Trickster arrogance, but the flick of his lips is laboured and it's all too obvious how weak he is.

"Hey bro..." he says faintly. "Thanks for coming."

Castiel just... stares. Lost.

"What happened to you?" Dean asks, stepping up behind and leaning against the booth's left-hand side.

Gabriel flicks his eyes up and finds strength enough to glare.

"I picked a side," he answers, nose crinkling as he attempts to sneer.

"You mean... Lucifer did this?" Sam presses, leaning against the right and looking down over Castiel's back. He's not entirely sure what 'this' is yet, but the fallen feathers are giving him a pretty good idea.

Gabriel turns to him, kinda swoons, then leans the side of his head back against the wall.

"This was mercy..." he gasps. "Should have killed me, but instead he..." Another gasp and his fingers grip tighter round the phone. "He ripped my grace out... for the sake of the brothers we were, he let me live..." His eyes meet Castiel's and there's no arrogance this time, no mask. His face is tight with a pain he's lost the strength to conceal and he looks broken. Vulnerable. "I fucking... fucking wish he... hadn't..." he manages before passing out against the younger angel's shoulder, body slumping forward in a particularly undignified way, phone bouncing from his fingers and swinging back and forth beneath the handset.

The hand Castiel has on Gabriel's shoulder slides instinctively to the other's back and Cas leans in to rest his other on the elder angel's side. He then twists his head round to glance between the others, eyes bright. Sam can't figure the expression, but supposes it's something along the lines of 'there but by the grace of god...'

Or then again, maybe not.

He shares a look with his brother that's darker and more troubled than the younger angel's to them. Dean takes a breath.

"After everything he's done to us?" he starts. "We should just leave him here. Not our problem."

Sam nods softly in response because he remembers, better than Dean, the Tuesday the Trickster trapped him in, forcing him to live through his brother's death over and over. The anger at that was white hot and blinding... although... Sam has to admit it dwindled almost to nothing during those last three months of Gabriel's trick, replaced by black despair and a grief he refused to accept. And he thinks perhaps he's been angry enough recently, with nothing good to show for it.

So when Cas turns back to the body in his arms, shifting a little so Gabriel's head rests easier on his shoulder in a move as tender as any the Winchesters have made for each other over the years, Sam finds himself biting his lip, uncertain.

"But... if he did pick us over Lucifer...?" he suggests.

"So he says," Dean argues. "The guy's made a living out of screwing with people. For all we know, he's lying." He waves a hand at the blood around them. "For all we know, this isn't even real."

"It's real," Castiel says quietly, hand splaying across Gabriel's back so he can hold him more securely, fingers slipping between the red and the white. Dean looks instantly abashed, but Castiel continues before he can apologise, staring ahead. "But you are right, Gabriel is not your responsibility. And yet... whatever he has done... he is still my brother." His head moves down, eyes trailing over Gabriel's hunched over form. They seem to soften at the corners, although, considering the ambiguity when it comes to Cas and displays of emotion, it's difficult to tell what that means. "I will tend to him," he finishes. "And return you to your motel."

Dean watches the two angels for a moment, then looks to Sam, and the younger man knows exactly what he's thinking - he's thinking about helping his little brother through a demon blood detox in Bobby's panic room; he's thinking about the two of them holding on to each other as the apocalypse Sam started - inadvertently, but started nonetheless - rages around them; he's thinking about the two of them standing together despite their mistakes and their flaws, and Sam lifts a shoulder in response. _Yes, the parallels are there_ , the movement says, _I don't think we should ignore them either_.

"Nah, Cas," Dean says, reaching his own hand to the angel's shoulder. "Bring him to the motel with us. We're not leaving anyone behind. Not again."

The expression Castiel raises to the hunter in response is open, grateful and entirely human.

 

***

 

Sam is alone at the table in the kitchenette when Gabriel starts dreaming.

The sounds are quiet at first - gentle murmurings. So after a brief glance at the beds to his right to ensure the archangel is still breathing, Sam ignores the change and focuses back to his laptop.

But then they get louder. And scared. High-pitched mewling sounds of distress, followed by the thrashing of Gabriel's head against the pillow.

Sam pauses with his hand over the keyboard. An unconscious archangel he can handle, but he didn't sign up to be there for one frightened by nightmares. He half pulls back to grab his phone by the side of the machine, but stops himself. A misplaced phone call could spell disaster for Cas and his brother right now.

Gabriel's mutterings turn to words.

"No... please..."

 _Damn it_ , Sam thinks as he pushes the chair back and hauls himself up.

He moves to the bed and stands uncertainly beside it, watching Gabriel twist and turn beneath the covers.

"Gabriel..." he tries, to no effect. " _Gabriel..._ "

"Don't..." Gabriel whimpers and Sam sighs. Looks like he'll need to be more physical to snap the guy out of this one.

Sam plops down on the bed beside the sleeping angel and reaches a hand to his far shoulder. He presses down once and calls again, louder this time.

" _Gabriel!_ "

Gabriel inhales sharply, but doesn't wake, so Sam gives him a light shake.

" _Gabe-_ "

Then all at once Sam has a bundle of archangel in his arms. Gabriel's hands are twisting knots into the back of his plaid shirt and Sam can feel the angel's heart pounding from his bare chest into his own covered one. The hunter thinks, fleetingly, that Gabriel is much smaller than he realised, body soft and fragile against his own.

Sam's right hand is kinda trapped between their collarbones so he can't easily extract himself, but he pulls his left arm away in an effort to escape nonetheless.

"Oh. Wow," Gabriel breathes in his ear, and his familiar arrogant twang seems to have returned, so Sam assumes the pain of his fall, at least, must be over now.

"What?"

"So _this_ is embarrassment. I did not expect it to be this bad."

Sam pushes Gabriel, _hard_ , breaking his hold enough to pull away and jump off the bed.

"Sorry," he mutters, sounding anything but.

Gabriel sways for a moment from the force, but manages to right himself without falling back on the pillows. He glances down at his chest, pats it in surprise, then looks round the otherwise empty room.

"Where's Castiel?" he asks.

"Out," Sam answers, holding himself a few paces away. "With Dean. Looking for your grace."

Gabriel raises his head to the hunter slowly, eyebrows folding together.

"My grace is gone," he states. "Lucifer destroyed it."

Sam shrugs and folds his arms, quite liking the idea that he's the one lording it over the other being this time.

"Apparently Cas hears otherwise," he responds. "He spent the whole of the past two days looking into it. There's some demon somewhere who might have stolen your grace before Lucifer's orders were carried out, and for some insane reason Cas cares about you enough to go and find it."

Gabriel nods along with the explanation, a spark of excitement growing behind his eyes.

"And because dashing Deano cares about Castiel he's tagged along for the quest," he adds with a grin. "Leaving you on babysitting duty."

"Yeah," Sam scowls. "That about sums it up."

Light shivers start to crawl up the angel's skin but Gabriel does nothing to stop them.

"I was..." he starts, pausing as a full body shiver courses through him. "I was out... two days? How..." His arms hug about his chest. "How constricting... time used to be... at my command. Fuck. What's going on?"

He holds himself tighter, shivers coming thick and fast now, and Sam thinks he should be gloating at seeing the all-powerful Trickster so demeaned. But instead it just seems kinda sad. He's never been subject to the elements before, so how _would_ he know?

"You're cold," Sam says, waving an arm at the comforter pooled in the shaking man's lap. "Wrap yourself up, you'll be fine."

Gabriel's eyes move from Sam to the faded brown sheet and his lips flick up at the corner in a half-smile, completely devoid of joy.

"Huh," he huffs, pulling the comforter up and over his chest. He lifts his arms over the top to hold it in place and the corners flap down over his back. Not the best cover as it leaves his arms and lower back still exposed, but it seems to be enough because after a moment his shivering stops.

"Your bedside manner needs work," he quips, glancing back at the hunter.

Sam rolls his eyes and heads back to his laptop. Clearly falling hasn't left the archangel overly traumatised and keeping up a conversation is _not_ necessary for his safety.

"You're lucky you've got a bedside at all," he mutters as he calls up the window he was working on before. "If it was up to me we'd have left you in that alley."

There's silence for a moment and Sam wonders if Gabriel has fallen asleep again, but then a dry chuckle fills the room.

"Liar," Gabriel calls to the hunter's back. "You'd never have left me there. Dean maybe, but not you."

The authority in the voice rankles something in Sam and he twists round in his chair to glare at the other man.

"After everything you did to me?" he presses, incredulous. "I'd leave you to die in a _heartbeat_."

But Gabriel shakes his head, that annoying Trickster smirk finding its way back to his expression.

"No," he says. "It's not who you are."

Sam knows he's being goaded, and it's infuriating that even fallen the guy can still get to him, but he can't help the flush of anger that fills his cheeks at the presumption.

"You don't know the first thing about me," he hisses.

Gabriel's smile doesn't drop for a second.

"Sweetheart," he purrs. "I played you for almost a year. I know you better than you know yourself. You see someone hurting and you can't help yourself, you _have_ to step in."

Sam opens his mouth to argue, then stops and looks down. Because, actually, that's... that's a compliment, isn't it? Gabriel's saying he helps people who need it. To argue the point would be to criticise himself... and maybe that's the point. _Bastard_.

"That's not true," Sam breathes, turning back to the screen, but his eyes stare past it. "There's been people I haven't helped."

"You mean that demon girl you drained dry?" Gabriel asks, casual voice ramming the point home as much as any accusation. Sam flinches, trying not to think of the girl's frantic screams as Ruby slit her throat for him. But then Gabriel is continuing and the criticism Sam assumed is lost with the words. "Firstly - _demon_ ," Gabriel shrugs. "And secondly - you let one girl die, to _save the world_. I mean, tough call, but that's just simple math. The needs of the many excreta, excreta... Your heart was still with the needy."

Sam frowns.

"But..." he starts, twisting round again. "I _didn't_ save the world. I _ended_ the world. Or... started the end, anyway."

Gabriel shrugs again, lips curving down in a theatrical and absurdly out of place 'oh well' expression.

"Yeah, bad luck with that," he responds. "But, you know, if you'd just listened to _me_ , none of this would have happened."

The glimmer of hope Sam didn't realise he'd been burning snuffs itself out and he shakes his head, nose crinkling.

"Listened to _you?_ On that Tuesday you mean? So, I should have just let you kill my brother and that would have stopped the apocalypse?"

Gabriel bobs his head for a moment, pretending to think.

"Yeah, pretty much."

Sam huffs out a breath of disgust.

"You're unbelievable."

"Actually, no," Gabriel counters, that haughty tone Sam hates back in his voice. "Everything I do shows people the honest-to-god truth. It's not my fault if they don't believe it."

"What? _Aliens? Alligators in the sewer?_ Those are _the truth?_ " Sam shoots back before he can stop himself, even though he's fully aware he's let Gabriel do exactly what he promised himself he wouldn't when he sat back at his computer - draw them into a stupid back and forth game, no doubt intended purely for the archangel's entertainment.

"No, no," Gabriel answers, waving a hand. "That's just the window dressing. The parable, if you wanna get biblical. It's the message behind that that matters."

"What message?" Sam asks, trying to sound dismissive, but Gabriel looks so earnest suddenly that the hunter's interest is piqued in spite of everything. He knows the Archangel Gabriel is traditionally god's messenger, after all. Is there something here he's missing?

"The message about the people I'm targeting. You know, the part that tells them exactly what's wrong with them?"

Sam stops to think for a moment, brain automatically going into research mode and running through all the people he remembers being harmed by the Trickster and what their 'just deserts' had been and why.

"So... having a dickish jock abducted by aliens, that's supposed to tell him he's... narrow-minded or something?"

Gabriel's eyes flash with something like pride.

"In one."

Sam shakes his head. Theoretically, that's kinda interesting. But people got _hurt_ because of these supposed revelations. Or worse.

"And the people who died, because of your 'parables'? What message was that supposed to give?"

Gabriel flattens his lips again - another 'oh well.'

"The truth is too much for some people," he says.

Sam wants to write that off as more of Gabriel's arrogance, but there's a _conviction_ in the angel's gaze as he says it that makes Sam wonder if there might be some actual wisdom to be found in those words. The kind he'd always imagined angels would hold.

"So what was my message?" he asks wearily, since it's clearly what all this is leading up to. "I shouldn't crave power? I'm too easily manipulated?"

Gabriel rolls his eyes.

"All valid issues, I won't deny it, but they're not your root problem," he answers.

"Really?" Sam mutters, breath hardly bated as he waits for the archangel's big reveal.

"You need to let things go," Gabriel says slowly.

Sam's brow furrows and he lifts his shoulders. _What?_

"Face it," the angel continues. "If you'd just _accepted_ Dean's deal and let him sacrifice himself like he wanted to, you'd have had no reason to go after Lilith, no reason to accept help from Ruby, no burning desire to kill demon number one and there we go, no apocalypse." He lifts a hand in a 'voila' gesture. "But no, not you. You hold on to things. Your brother, your dead girlfriend, your daddy issues. You're like an excitable little puppy with a hundred different bones. Even a time loop couldn't convince you of the importance of change! You-"

"Wait, so that's what that was? Killing Dean, repeating the same day over and over?" Sam cuts in. "That was you trying to stop the apocalypse? I thought you _wanted_ us to play our roles in that?"

"Well sure, now it's _started_ ," Gabriel drawls, like Sam's putting him through such a chore making him state the fact out loud. "You think I _wanted_ it to get this far and have _another_ family war on my hands?"

"Then why didn't you just _tell_ me?!" Sam yells back, thick, red heat climbing up his neck. Because Gabriel _knew_ , all the way back then. _Knew_ what his brothers and sisters were planning and could have stopped it before it started! "Why didn't just _say_ who Lilith was and what would happen if I killed her?"

"Because it wouldn't have made a difference!" Gabriel argues, his own voice rising now. "You were so bent on revenge, incapable of seeing anything beyond your brother, you'd have gone after her anyway. You wouldn't have believed me."

"No," Sam replies. "No, I would have listened to _that_. I wasn't that far gone... I..."

He falters for a moment under a weight of self-doubt. He _had_ been pretty crazed back then, not even Bobby had got through to him those first few months after Dean's death - the fake one _and_ the real one. Would he have listened to a being he didn't trust anyway talking about an apocalypse?

But then Sam catches Gabriel's eye and there's an uncertainty there to match his own. Gabriel's lips are sucked in, like he's chewing on them maybe, and he's watching Sam carefully. Hoping. Wanting him to buy the explanation. And all at once it's _Sam_ who's in control again - sure and self-righteous.

"No," Sam says. "It had nothing to do with me. It was because of _you_. Because you were too scared! If you'd told me everything, then the other angels would have wondered how I knew. They'd have gone searching, and just maybe it would have got out that the Trickster was really the lost archangel Gabriel, and you couldn't handle that. So you left me and Dean to be manipulated, you left the world to _burn_ , because you couldn't face a family reunion."

"Hey, I _tried_ -" Gabriel starts, cheeks flushing. But Sam has the upper hand now and he knows it, so he doesn't let him finish.

"Not hard enough!" he yells and Gabriel shuts his mouth and swallows, forced into silence. Sam shoots him a mocking smile. " _That's_ the truth."

They just stare for a beat, then Gabriel shuts his eyes and looks away.

"Yes," he nods, spitting out the word like a man coughing up phlegm. "You're right." He blinks his eyes open and gazes into the distance. "I could have told you more and I didn't. I'm a coward. I admit it. You happy?"

Sam trails his eyes down the shape beneath the comforter - thin, corporeal and breakable, and all Gabriel has now. He lingers over the goosebumps up the archangel's arms and the flattened, matted state of his hair - short and manageable at the moment, but capable, for the first time in centuries, of growing longer and unruly. A devastating change from the power that was.

"Not really," Sam confesses.

Sure the Trickster was a dick, but he has to admit there was something awe-inspiring about him too. It was impossible _not_ to feel humbled by a being who could manipulate the fabric of time and space. However Sam felt about the guy personally, it still seemed like a loss to the universe seeing a creature so glorious brought so low.

As Sam watches, Gabriel starts to shiver again. Not just his arms but his whole body, even under the covers.

"S... shit..." the angel hisses. "What's a guy gotta do to get warm around here?"

It's not exactly cold outside and the heating's switched up to max. This is why Sam's discarded his jacket - if anything he's a little over warm. Which suggests whatever's wrong with Gabriel is more than a simple reaction to the temperature.

"You're probably not cold anymore. Not really," Sam says. Gabriel raises an eyebrow at him between shakes, unimpressed. "You'll be in shock. From... you know..." He waves a hand. Saying 'from having your essence torn out by your brother' doesn't seem very tactful.

"And...?" Gabriel presses.

"And... your mind is messed up trying to cope with it," Sam starts, a little hesitantly. He's seen the effects of shock plenty of times, but he was studying Law not Medicine, he doesn't know the exact reasons a human body acts like it does. A philosophy that must seem absurd to an angel, he thinks then. They must know everything about themselves. How ignorant humans must seem in comparison. "Your body _isn't_ cold. But your mind's telling you it is."

Gabriel breathes out a shaky laugh.

"S... s... self-delusion?" he gasps. "How... apt... So, what? I just... t... think hard enough and... I'll b... be all better?"

He's trying to stay strong, to stay on top of the mental onslaught, but Sam can see fear in the angel's newly human eyes and he can feel his heart bleeding out in response, everything Gabriel said about him coming to pass. There's someone in need here, and Sam wants to help.

He hesitates just for a second. Then he gets up and hurries over, grapping an extra blanket from on top of the second bed and throwing it around the shivering man's shoulders. Sam sits back down on the part of the mattress he was perching on before, pulls the corners of the blanket over Gabriel's arms and holds them together.

"You kinda... have to wait till it passes," he says softly. "But staying covered helps."

Gabriel gives a jerky nod in response and they sit together in silence, waiting for the shaking to ease off. After a while it lessens to an occasional shiver, enough for Gabriel to speak easily again.

"How much are you loving this?" he asks.

Sam meets his eyes and finds no agenda there. This question, for once, is exactly what is seems.

"Not at all," he answers, equally candid.

Gabriel's eyes hold him for a moment, then he looks down, apparently to focus on his breathing. Sam can't tell if the angel believed him or not.

"Why didn't you choose Lucifer?" he asks - not sure, exactly, where the question comes from. But now he's asked it he finds himself almost desperate for an answer, longing to know the mind of at least one angel, to be able, like Dean, to pick one out of the multitude and say he understands them, instead of writing the whole of the Host off together.

Gabriel looks back to him curiously.

"It turns out," he starts. "When it came down to it. I liked you better."

"Me?"

Gabriel pauses. Catching his breath again, Sam assumes.

"Humanity," he clarifies. "You're morons, mostly. Idiotic. Pathetic. But... you're a laugh." He gives a weak smile. "Lucifer... never had a sense of humour." He looks Sam over, watery green eyes flicking down and up. "He doesn't deserve you."

Sam tries not to look too obviously shocked at hearing such serious words passing the lips of the Trickster. Or the way the plural seems to have been lost for the last 'you.'

"And I thought we were so similar," he shrugs; recalling the archangel's vivid comparisons between his and Dean's supposedly destined angelic counterparts.

"Ha," Gabriel chuckles. "I can spin as good as any salesman in a tight spot. And you don't get tighter than a ring of holy fire." His smile fades back to a line. "Broadly speaking you line up. You left the family to strike out on your own. But hey..." He shrugs beneath the covers and Sam instinctively pulls the corners of the blanket tighter to compensate. " _I_ can relate to that. And in the end, there's one big difference between you and Lucy." Sam waits, that spark of hope he thought he'd doused out earlier fanning back into life. "You went back. And your family welcomed you. For all his bravado and posturing and plans for world domination - Lucifer would give anything for that... Any exiled angel would."

Sam breathes out slowly. It shouldn't mean anything - this was the Trickster for fuck's sake - but still, it was something of a relief to hear a member of the Choir, even an ex-member, saying it _wasn't_ his destiny to turn into the Devil.

He coughs to try and cover the moment up.

"You feeling better?"

Gabriel tilts his head, eyes boring into the hunter in a way that reminds Sam of Castiel. _Well, duh_.

"Toasty," the archangel nods.

"Well... good..." Sam mutters, thrown by the new look because it's... different to the ones he's seen on Gabriel before. Sort of... warmer. Almost friendly. Like a tiger might give its keeper at dinner time. It's alluring, but it also makes him want to back away, _fast_. "Okay..."

He lets go of the blanket and presses the corners to Gabriel's chest, intending the touch as a type of goodbye, but before he can push himself up to leave he's surprised by the angel's hand covering his own.

Yup. He's warmer now.

"Thanks," Gabriel says, and his gaze seems even more intense, if that's possible.

"Right. So. I'll just-" Sam starts, pulling his hand away. But Gabriel's fingers curl round his own, holding him in place.

"You know," the archangel smiles. "I dunno why Cas is so besotted with your brother. You're _much_ prettier."

_Oookay..._

"Um... thanks?"

Sam tries to leave again, but Gabriel's leaning forward now.

"Do you ever think about it?" he whispers.

"Think about... what?" Sam tries, leaning back and hoping very hard that he's reading this wrong.

The touch of Gabriel's lips on his own a second later soon destroys _that_ idea.

Sam pushes him away almost at once. But only almost. There's a second, as their chapped skin brushes together, where his eyes flicker shut and there's nothing but the feeling of it, and it feels... _really good_. Warm and sweet and inviting.

It's just a second though, more like a split-second actually, so it doesn't mean anything.

"No," Sam gasps, scooting back along the mattress. "I don't think about that."

"No?" Gabriel smirks, licking his lips. The blanket around his shoulders has half fallen away and the comforter is back in his lap, leaving his chest and right shoulder bare again. His skin is incredibly pale, Sam notices, like porcelain. Or a Greek sculpture. Except Gabriel isn't build like that. He's slender, less bulky than the hunter and while his muscles aren't toned - because why would an angel need to exercise? - they're not particularly slack either and... why is he thinking about this? "You don't ever look at Dean and wonder what you're missing?"

Lines of confusion snake across Sam's forehead at the question. All things considered, there are very few things he envies his brother. He loves him and everything and if it came down to it he'd trust him with his life, because when there's a fight brewing Dean's as heroic as they come. But for the every day stuff? No way. His brother's a dick - lazy, arrogant and a player. There's nothing about that Sam wants. Except... well maybe Dean's ease with women would be nice, and he supposes that's what Gabriel's talking about. Although, he doesn't quite see how it relates to _this_.

"I'm... fine, thanks," Sam nods back. And he should probably leave the bed now.

Why the fuck isn't he leaving the bed now?

"You don't wanna know what it would be like? With an angel?" Gabriel presses, although he doesn't move again, which is a relief.

"With an...? Oh, you mean like Dean had with Anna?" the hunter stammers. "No, I... I'm good. And besides, I... I don't think it really..." He waves a hand back and forth between them. "Compares."

"Anna?" Gabriel repeats, his own brow criss-crossing. His gaze leaves Sam for a moment as he thinks and then his face clears. "Oh. Pretty little fallen Anael. I didn't even know they'd..." He shakes his head a breathes out a laugh. "That little minx, she didn't say a word when she came sniffing round asking for a new body." His eyes snap back to Sam. "That's not what I meant."

That confuses the hunter enough to curb his growing panic.

"Then... what...?"

Gabriel registers his lack of understanding with a blink of surprise that he soon alters to an arrogant roll of his eyes.

" _Really?_ " he mutters. "You don't...?" He flattens his lips in a patronising smile - the kind you give the kid who _still_ hasn't figured out the equation on the board, even after spending the whole class staring at it. "Let's just say Anael isn't the only angel who's been making eyes at Dean since he got out of the pit."

Sam dips his head slightly, waiting for more. _Making eyes...?_

Then a slideshow of memories of Cas swooping in and focusing all his attention on Dean plays unbidden through his mind and clicks everything into place.

Oh.

_Oh._

"No _way!_ "

But Gabriel just lifts his eyebrows and Sam knows he's not joking.

"No," Sam insists, shaking his head. Because this is _Dean_ they're talking about. "Cas maybe, but Dean wouldn't... I mean, he doesn't..."

"Oh, you'd be surprised how many ways you find you swing when Heaven's magic is involved," Gabriel interrupts with a smirk.

Sam's aware he's gaping now but he can't help it.

"You mean... Cas is affecting his mind somehow?"

This puts Castiel, the one angel Sam thought they could trust, in a pretty bad light, but he's almost willing to accept that over the alternative.

"Not like that, you idiot," Gabriel answers, the disdain in his voice sweeping the thought away. Which turns out to be a relief in the end, because, much as they tend to come to blows, Sam _likes_ Castiel. And while it comes as something of a shock, if he thinks about it he's really got no problem with Dean being bi-curious. Or angel-curious. Or, you know, whatever. "There's no brainwashing going on." Gabriel leans forward again and Sam forgets to back away. "The sex is just that good."

Sam clamps down firmly on the image of his brother and Castiel having sex and thrusts it away.

"Yeah?"

Gabriel nods and extracts his other arm from the covers so he can reach a hand to Sam's shoulder.

"Really," he murmurs, lips moving to caress Sam's ear. "The things I could do to you..."

Sam holds his breath, because - _the fuck?_ \- part of him is getting just a little excited by this, and he doesn't know whether to will it away, or will it on.

There's a sharp clicking sound by the ear Gabriel was just whispering to.

A pause.

Then Gabriel closes his eyes and hisses out a sigh of frustration through his teeth.

Sam breaks from his trance and pulls back. Gabriel's free hand is still raised by his shoulder, fingers curled in the aftermath of a click that has become absolutely powerless for the archangel now.

"Damn..." Gabriel mutters, cheekbones spotting crimson. "Forgot."

A chagrined archangel seems so unlikely, and a thwarted Gabriel so satisfying, Sam finds himself laughing.

"What's the matter?" he grins, and oh wow, it feels _good_ to be the one smirking at the Trickster. "Can't get it up?"

Gabriel opens his eyes and glares at Sam through his lashes. It's a brilliant glare - dark and full of loathing. But it's also impotent and they both know it, so Sam just smiles right back.

"Forget it," Gabriel scowls, pushing himself away. "Your loss."

But that sudden rush of excitement at the angel's proximity has settled to a slow burn and it's giving Sam other ideas.

"Or my gain," he says, and there must be something telling in his voice because Gabriel snaps back to him immediately, expression weary. "Seriously," Sam continues, pressing his palms to his thighs so _he_ can lean into _Gabriel's_ space this time. "How pissed off _are_ you at not being in control anymore?"

" _Please_ ," Gabriel responds. "You think I'm gonna start weeping at your feet? Give me some credit."

Gabriel crying. That's an image that heats Sam up far more than it should.

"How sure are you that you won't?" he presses, voice lowering. Gabriel eyes him up and down and straightens his back defensively. But before he can reply, Sam's shifting onto the bed for real, straddling the shape of the angel's legs hidden beneath the covers and grabbing his arms. "Maybe, I should show you how _humans_ do things," he says, eyes fixing themselves into Gabriel's as he slides his hands down to the angel's wrists.

His fingers circle easily around the bones and skin and he yanks Gabriel's arms above the angel's head and forces him back against the mattress. Gabriel makes a soft 'oof' sound as he goes down and Sam likes that. He fixes the guy's wrists into his left hand and grips them firmly, while his right trails down Gabriel's chest. The angel's shaking again, but Sam doesn't think it's the cold or the trauma this time.

"And you could be the one being played for once," the hunter continues, leaning down so his cool breath mingles with the now shallow gasps of the man beneath him, eyes holding the other's gaze in complete and wonderful control. "Whether you like it or not."

Gabriel opens his mouth, but can't seem to get the words out at first and Sam grins wider. His mind plays back every single death he had to watch the Trickster put his brother through and suddenly the thought of Gabriel's skin bruising under his touch is incredible. He _wants_ the archangel to suffer, and at _his_ hands, no one else's.

"You wouldn't..." Gabriel breathes eventually, and it's supposed to be a statement, more arrogant self-assurance, but Sam can read the question in his eyes.

Gabriel isn't certain anymore. For the first time in his existence he's at someone else's mercy, trapped in a way even the holy fire couldn't manage, because while that was a threat, as long as he stayed inside he was safe. He isn't safe now. Sam could do anything he wanted and Gabriel couldn't stop him. Sam's bigger and stronger and Gabriel is _no match for him_. And that's delicious. That power. Such a rush. Sam's never felt anything like it.

...or has he?

Gabriel's expression seems... familiar. Beneath the bravado he can see the fear. Fear that turns to terror and screams, Sam can hear them in his mind, and his blood boils with anticipation of what came after. Blood on his lips and trickling down his throat. God, he needs it so bad. Not that Gabriel can give him _that_ of course, but the sense of power... it's close enough. Might just be able to ease the yearning. If he strings it out. If he makes Gabriel scream like the girl did. Before Ruby -

Sam gasps and pushes away.

"No, I wouldn't," he breathes. Because that _isn't_ him. That's who the demon blood made him, and he won't let it win. Shit. He thought he'd got a handle on the cravings, thought he'd ditched them. But it seems the memory of that kind of power isn't so easily dispelled.

He glances back to find Gabriel has pulled his hands down and is rubbing his wrists, watching him carefully.

"But I could," Sam adds in warning. Though he's not sure who to.

He's still crouched partly over the angel and turns to drop off the mattress and move away.

Gabriel shoots a hand out to stop him, gripping tight round Sam's forearm.

Sam's face is blank when he turns, waiting for a reprimand he can't say he doesn't deserve.

"Do it then," Gabriel says instead.

Sam starts back, shocked, but Gabriel moves with him, sitting up to grip the hunter's other arm so they're practically chest-to-chest.

"The human way," Gabriel continues, deadly serious. "I'm game."

Sam shakes his head. He was a knife-edge away from _rape_ a few seconds ago and the guy wants _more?_

"No," he answers, pulling his arms free.

"Why?" Gabriel presses. "You seemed interested enough just now."

He quirks an eyebrow, the hint of a smile tugging the corner of his lips, like the whole thing is back to being just a game when for Sam it's anything but.

"Well I'm not anymore, okay?" Sam responds, twisting round again.

Gabriel makes a disappointed humming sound behind him.

"A guy who's spent his life in the boundaries, scared of a little man-on-man action? You surprise me, Sam."

"You're not a man, you're an angel," Sam counters over his shoulder. "It wouldn't be right."

He pauses in stepping from the bed because, damn, that was a little more revealing than he'd intended.

Gabriel breathes out a laugh into the silence, but it's soft, not mocking.

"Sammy," he berates. Sam shivers when he feels the other's arms slide around his waist, but he doesn't fight the embrace. Doesn't pull away at the feel of Gabriel's breath against his cheek. "You can't be damned for sleeping with an angel -" To his horror, Sam finds a lump in his throat. The burn and desire of before turning to a different kind of longing altogether. "- any more than you already are." The silky conclusion knots itself inside Sam and squeezes. He twists his head away. "Because you're not damned," Gabriel continues, and the pain in Sam's chest eases again.

"But... what I've done..." Sam starts. "What I _am_..."

Gabriel moves a hand to Sam's shoulder and turns him round so they're face-to-face again, Sam once more positioned across the angel's knees.

"It doesn't work like that, kid," Gabriel shrugs. "Shit happens. And it happened _a lot_ to you. Doesn't make you any less holy than any of the other schmucks on this planet. Hell, look at me and Castiel. One hundred percent angel and still as capable of being struck down as the next guy."

Sam's face clouds.

"But... if that's true then -" He lifts his shoulders, a cold helplessness pressing down on him that makes the closeness of the angel almost a comfort. "- why do people go to Hell at all?"

Gabriel flattens his lips and sighs through his nose. He looks almost pitying. Like a doctor ready to tell a six year old why mummy and daddy won't be leaving the hospital with them.

"The same way things fall to the ground when you drop them," he says. "Or towns are ravaged by hurricanes or businessmen lose millions on the stock market. A combination of cosmic order, bad judgement and bad luck."

Sam breathes out long and deep.

It's not the forgiveness he's been looking for, but it leaves him feeling lighter nonetheless.

"So," Gabriel continues, nose brushing against Sam's as he leans in, eyes lingering on the hunter's lips. "You gonna let yourself waste away waiting for redemption?" His gaze moves to Sam's and he pauses. "Or are you gonna live, while you still have the chance?"

Sam lets Gabriel hold him for a while, then realises he's actually considering this and lets out a short puff of laughter, somewhere between incredulous and hysterical.

"You're insane," he mutters, angel breath tainting his own with the words.

Gabriel smiles.

"It's more fun that way."

He tilts his head forward again and Sam moves with him. Hesitates. Takes a breath. Then lets their lips meet.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel calls Cas for help after a run in with Lucifer and Sam is left to help the archangel through the aftermath. If you don't understand the title you might want to check [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMi-hnHATzA) out for more perspective.

**Do you know who's playin'?**

_part two_

 

Sam's eyelids close and he savours the touch this time, relishing the simplicity of it - the heat and the taste. Sugary. But then, what did he expect?

Gabriel eases his lips apart and swirls his tongue past Sam's teeth, making the taste of candy even stronger, hands moving back to Sam's waist and tugging him closer, drawing him in completely. And before he knows it, Sam's moaning into Gabriel's mouth, his own hands cupping the back of the angel's head, threading through damp locks of hair and locking them together. It's comfort and excitement, familiar sensation and new experience all at once, and that's how Sam wants it. No strings, no catch, no _plan_. Just this.

When they break apart Sam's gasping. And smiling. Blue eyes bright and expectant as they find Gabriel's, and Gabriel's have a new spark as well, watery green sharpened to the colour of the ocean.

"Let's get this party started, shall we?" he grins, hands _sliding_ up to Sam's collar and deftly undoing his buttons.

Sam helps out and the shirt's off in a matter of seconds, and when Gabriel touches his bare skin - _oh_. It's been a long time since anyone's just _touched_ him like that. Ruby never bothered with foreplay and once blood drinking became the norm neither did Sam. He's forgotten how good that gentle friction of skin on skin can be - unhurried palms smoothing across his stomach, thumbs skimming his nipples, nails scratching lightly down his back. The last person to touch him like that was - but no. Can't think about her now.

Despite the mental intrusion, the sensation is irresistible and Sam's practically swooning under the attention, his own fingernails digging into the back of Gabriel's neck. The angel groans a little himself at that, but doesn't seem to mind.

And then, soon enough, Gabriel is moving down, hands sliding together along the waistband of Sam's jeans and meeting at the button in the centre. No belt today - the hunter's threadbare leather substitute finally broke the other week and in that moment Sam couldn't be happier about it.

Gabriel undoes and unzips him without a word and moves right in. Sam's only been half hard up till now, this is still very unfamiliar after all, but it takes just one neat stroke to get him all the way there.

"Oh _god_ ," Sam breathes on impulse.

" _Hey_ ," Gabriel protests, pressing the index finger of his free hand to Sam's lips. "You want I should bring up _your_ dad right now?"

"Sorry..."

"Save it." Gabriel draws his finger down, pulling Sam's mouth open so he can move in for another kiss, hungrier this time, teeth skimming the hunter's lower lip.

He squeezes the other man's cock at the same time until Sam's thrusting into him and it's about then the hunter realises he should probably be returning the favour.

Gabriel's lap is still tied up with bedsheets and Sam has some trouble working his way inside them with the angel's hands and lips distracting him like they are. In the end he just presses down through the covers between the guy's legs and Gabriel's hum of approval tells him he must have hit his mark.

While the groping and kissing is a good start, though, it's not long before they've moved beyond it, with Gabriel feeling just as hard as Sam imagines himself to be beneath the ball of the hunter's hand. Time to change the tempo.

"Wait... let me..." Sam mutters, stumbling off the bed.

He rips his jeans off and throws them to the side - no boots because they're drying under the heater by the door, newly clean of Gabriel's blood - leaving him in nothing but boxers that have a rather obvious tent in them. He hesitates again and glances up.

Gabriel is lying on his side, chin in hand with his elbow on the pillows, watching Sam intently while his other hand plays with the sheet at his navel. Sam can see soft tufts of hair creeping over the edge and oh, so, Cas stripped him naked when he brought Gabriel back to the motel, Sam didn't know that...

He reaches tentatively for his boxers and Gabriel follows the movement with his eyes, lips forming another smirk.

Sam stops to glare at him, because he didn't agree to a strip tease. Gabriel catches the look and raises an eyebrow.

"Oh come on," he protests. "Voyeurism is what angels do best. If you're too chicken for this, we're not going anywhere."

God, Sam is so tired of being thought of as scared and pathetic.

" _Fine_."

He strips the underwear off, kicks it aside and stands with his hands on his hips, eyes burning - stormy blue and defiant.

"Very nice," the angel drawls.

"Your turn," Sam counters.

Gabriel just shrugs and pulls back the covers, exposing himself with no shame whatsoever, his own cock pink and proud against his stomach.

Sam steps forward, but pulls up short at the edge of the bed. With both of them exposed like this it hits him suddenly how out of his depth he is.

"You know... I've never..." he starts, but Gabriel reaches over to grab his hand.

"Just come here," he mutters, impatient, and pulls Sam down on top of him. He then proceeds to roll them over before Sam's even finished getting his bearings, so this time it's Gabriel straddling the hunter.

"The trick is not to over think it," the archangel states, holding himself regal and erect above the other man. "I understand this will be hard for you." He leans down, lining them up slowly and carefully. The pressure, flat and firm, starts tremors of anticipation along Sam's cock. "And since we're both learning here, we'll play it missionary, shall we?" Gabriel ends with a wink.

 _Sure,_ Sam thinks, wanting to roll his eyes but too keyed up. _But who's teaching who?_

Then Gabriel thrusts his hips down and Sam doesn't think at all.

The first blast of friction takes him off guard - sharp and too sudden for him to fully comprehend it. By the second, Sam's making hesitant moves back, and by the third he's matching Gabriel's rhythm, nail's raking down the angel's the back, mind nothing but white heat.

And Gabriel's laughing above him, his own fingers pressing into the hunter's shoulders. Sam can't see him - what with his eyes pressing shut with the pleasure and everything - but he can _hear_ how unusual the sound is. Because it's not a mocking laugh - there's nothing smug about it - it's a _happy_ one. Pure and simple joy. Like the kiss that follows it - Gabriel's lips clasping his own, not to claim or hurt, but in an outpouring of emotion.

"Wow!" Gabriel breathes as he breaks away and they finish another particularly deep thrust. "This is really _physical_ for you guys, isn't it?"

Sam can't help the spreading of his own smile. The guy sounds so _excited_.

"Yeah?" he gasps, blinking his eyes open again.

"Well, I mean, for us too," Gabriel presses without breaking his stride. "It's a physical act, we can't even _try_ in our own form. But, you know, vessels, you're never quite there... not like this."

He trails his fingers from Sam's chin to his neck to his collarbone to his chest, expression sobering as he concentrates all his effort on the touch, nothing existing for him beyond it at all, and now _Sam's_ shivering. That's good. That's _really_ good. He wishes he could lose himself so completely like that. But if Ruby couldn't do it for him - and that was the _reason_ for sex with her, that's what demons were supposed to be good at - he doubts an angel will.

"Fuck," Gabriel mutters, breaking into another smile. "It's like spending a lifetime on diet cola and finally getting a taste of the real thing."

Sam hums out a laugh, because of course there'd be a sugar reference. He wonders how an angel got addicted to the substance in the first place, perhaps Gabriel's vessel had a sweet tooth when he wasn't - wait, _shit_ , Gabriel's an _angel_ , so this body he's fucking must -

"Wait, wait!" Sam snaps, slapping a hand to Gabriel's chest and holding them apart, despite the throbbing ache it leaves in his cock. "This - you - this is a _vessel?_ This used to be someone?"

The sense of violation leaves a rank taste in his mouth, like he's been fooling around with a corpse or something, and he wishes he could stop being as hard as he is.

Gabriel makes a pained noise in the back of his throat.

"Baby, you're killing me, you wanna bring this up _now?_ " Sam opens his mouth to say he'd sure as hell prefer to settle this now than hate himself about it later, but Gabriel continues without him needing to. "Yes, I've used vessels before. Duh, _angel_. But this never was. I wanted _out_ of heaven and taking a vessel is like hotwiring a car - sooner or later they'd track the sucker down and find me, and jumping from body to body was too much like hard work. I pulled this one together on my own. No humans were harmed in the making of this Trickster. Satisfied?"

Sam blinks. Something about that doesn't quite add up.

"But... if angels can just _make_ their own vessels, why don't you all do it?"

Gabriel sighs sharply and shakes his head, resigning himself to not getting anymore any time soon.

"Firstly, not _every_ angel can do it. If you're not an archangel you don't have the juice. And secondly, like with most things too good to be true, there's a _catch_. You merge with a homemade vessel - you're stuck with it. I mean, honestly, you think I'm stupid enough, with guys like you chasing me, to keep switching back to this?" He circles a hand around his face. "You think I'm _trying_ to make it easy for you to find me? _No_. I just can't help it."

"I've seen you in different forms before," Sam counters.

"You've seen me _look_ different before. Not the same," Gabriel insists. "It's just glamours, tricks, _illusions_." He rests a hand over the one Sam still has on his chest, his other arm shaking lightly at the hunter's shoulder with the strain of holding himself upright. "This is who I am now. This is what I left Heaven for. I gave up the light and the song, I even gave up the wings damn it, and I made myself corporeal." He turns away, the light in his eyes dimming, like the sacrifice is finally hitting home. "But not as physical as I could have, it turns out."

Sam wants to question this further, pick through the details and picture the 'how' of what Gabriel did more clearly, but that sadness in the guy's eyes - he recognises that. And it makes the questions he wants to ask stick in his throat.

"You wanted to leave that badly," he says. It's not a question. He knows what it's like to want to get away from something, no matter the cost. To leave everything you know behind, only to have it dog your step wherever you go. A personal hellhound that never attacks, just sits there in the corner of your eye.

Gabriel twists his head back, gaze tumbling into the hunter's, and this guy's an _angel,_ Sam thinks, an archangel, and he's the 'boy with the demon blood.' They couldn't have more separating them if they _tried_. So where the hell is this affinity coming from?

"I don't regret it," Gabriel says.

Sam wonders who he's trying to convince.

"Good," he nods, slipping from Gabriel's hold and placing both hands on the angel's shoulders - the better to pull him down again and grab him in a kiss of his own.

Gabriel makes a high-pitched noise of relief and throws himself into the embrace, rubbing their cocks together again and parting his lips to let Sam's tongue inside. He's balanced somewhere between eager and desperate and Sam thinks he can almost taste the regret. Or is he just projecting?

Whatever. It doesn't matter. They both want this - who cares what for?

Only the aftermath of the kiss leaves him wanting.

They're moving again, but it's not enough. They need more. _Sam_ needs more. But what else is there?

In a helpful, but also incredibly _not_ , kind of way, Dean comes to mind. And the drawer between this bed and his.

"Wait, wait..." Sam mutters, twisting his body round so he can reach for the handle.

" _Hmmmph!_ " Gabriel protests as he's forced back again.

"No there's... we can..." Sam continues, leaning off the bed a little to pull the drawer back. "Shit, I know he keeps it here..." he adds as he fumbles through the collection of weapons and skin mags inside.

Eventually he's forced to sit up properly and look in, sending Gabriel onto his ass on the other side of the mattress with another 'oof!' Frustrated this time.

"Got it," Sam exclaims, fingers gripping round the thin plastic tube Dean always makes sure to unpack in his sight, to rub in how much more he's getting, or something equally absurd and macho. A fairly redundant gesture these days, but old habits and all that. He slams the drawer shut and spins back round, holding the item up for Gabriel to see. "Here," he nods, throwing it over. Gabriel catches it in both hands and lowers his eyes to examine the label. "So you can... uh... you know. Get the full experience."

Gabriel is silent as he takes in the item's intended use, one knee bent up to his chest, while his other leg splays out across the bedcovers, cock still upright and leaking, sending slow drips down into the tight mass of curls below.

He smiles briefly, the calculating kind Sam's used to, and sucks in his bottom lip, eyes continuing to scan the writing on the plastic. Then he shakes his head.

"You disappoint me, Sam," he says, eyes lifting.

And while Sam and Dean have been throwing the term 'angel' about thick and fast since they first sussed the guy, this is the first time Sam's seen him live up to it. There's something almost majestic about the accusation. It reminds him of Cas berating Dean in that hospital, or him over Jesse, but with ten times the power, and it leaves the hunter feeling small and ashamed. So much that he doesn't notice Gabriel fling the tube back until it hits his chest and he's forced to scramble for a hold on it to stop it dropping to his lap.

The short burst of pain from the hit breaks the moment and a wave of annoyance rushes in to fill it.

"What? _Why?_ " he snaps. "You're the one who started this, I thought you'd be up for it."

"Me, sure. I'm up for anything," Gabriel shrugs, resting an arm on his bent knee so his hand hangs off it - like something out of a Roman painting; the perfect image of insolence and luxury. "But you? You've never even kissed a guy before and now you wanna go all the way?"

Sam's brow tightens. Why would Gabriel care?

"Well..." he shrugs himself. "Yeah. Sure... why not?"

"You hate me," Gabriel argues.

"I don't..." Sam starts. Pauses. "I don't _hate_ you. Okay, so I don't love you, but you want to do this, _I_ want you to do it, what's the problem?"

"The problem is, this isn't about the sex, it's about the _pain_ ," Gabriel says. "Your last squeeze was a demon you betrayed your brother for and followed into Armageddon. Now you're with an angel and you want me to fuck her out of you but I'm not your tool, Sam. I won't be your means of punishment." He drops his bent leg and leans back against the triangular, satin-covered headboard, hands clasping behind his head. "I'm not your fucking salvation. You want redemption?" His gaze pierces into Sam, breaking through every layer the hunter's been building up since Ruby's death and a hundred others he hadn't even known were there. "Then _take_ it."

Gabriel lets the words sink in, then sniffs and shuffles back against the pillows as though making himself more comfortable, both legs bending up and spreading out, opening himself up in a way that should be vulgar but somehow... isn't.

"And me, while you're at it."

Sam stares. The angel's not seriously asking him to...? Gabriel quirks an eyebrow and, oh, yes. Yes he is. Sam glances at the tube in his hands, bewildered at the way all of this is progressing and more than a little freaked out at how accurate Gabriel's assessment of him seems to be now he thinks about it. Because what the hell does he know about being fucked by a man except that it's gotta _hurt_ the first time you try? Maybe that _is_ what he wanted. What he wants...

"Don't worry, I _have_ done this before," Gabriel continues, presumably by way of encouragement, although he voice sounds _far_ from coaxing. "This is just a new chapter in a very old story. Fuck, back in my glory days sex was practically a divine command." Sam blinks his gaze back to the archangel, incredulous. "The virgin Mary?" Gabriel prompts with a smirk. "So not." As his jaw drops Sam thinks vaguely that he really should have learnt to stop being shocked by these things by now. "Of course, that pissed off Joseph a _lot_ , so really, cheering him up was just the Christian thing to do, right?"

Gabriel's eyes twinkle and for a second Sam simply can't speak.

"You're kidding..." he tries without much conviction.

Gabriel's lips curve further in one corner.

"Almost always," he answers. "Now are you gonna man up, or what?"

Sam shakes his head. His body's starting to cool now and he wonders if it might be better to back out before things get any crazier.

Then Gabriel tuts and lifts his eyes skyward.

"That demon got you good, didn't she?" he mutters and a reflexive flash of anger starts to warm Sam up again. "That cute little blonde of yours must be turning in her grave at how easy you let that bitch whip you. And the things you did with her too..." Gabriel whistles and the sound hits Sam's ears like nails on a chalkboard. He starts unscrewing the cap in his hands. "Maybe brunettes just get you hotter. It's probably good that she died or you'd never have known..."

Gabriel keeps going, but Sam isn't listening anymore. He's too busy coating his fingers with thick, slick gel. Although coating is perhaps too generous a description - they are barely covered when he moves forward between Gabriel's legs and thrusts his index finger deep inside the angel. The instant end to his flow of speech is immensely gratifying.

"Aaah- _ha!_ " Gabriel yelps, pitching forward and gripping Sam's shoulders. He makes no move to pull away or stop the hunter, however, and the cry is one of triumph as much as pain.

He's being played again, probably, Sam thinks. But fuck it. Right now he _wants_ to act his part.

"I loved Jessica," he hisses in Gabriel's ear, pulling his finger back and pressing in again. Gabriel gives another cry, nails cutting into the hunter's shoulders, but he's smiling as well, eyes watering a little, breath coming in harsh pants. "Don't you _dare_ say I didn't. Ruby was _nothing_. Just a means to an end, that's all."

"Sure, sure," Gabriel gasps, rocking slightly on and off the hunter. "You were using her to save the world. Interesting use of the past tense there..."

Sam adds a second finger.

"Ha!" Gabriel yells.

"I wasn't using her," Sam mutters, ignoring the angel's last jibe, and the way he's trembling beneath him now, the two of them falling into an easy in and out rhythm. "She offered. I never forced anything. Even before the blood she... and I..." He trails off and gives a sharp thrust inside Gabriel as a vent to his frustration. It's easy to think it was just about the blood with Ruby, just about building his power. But there was sex too, and a need for it. Mindless and hot, a freedom Sam couldn't get anywhere else and what _would_ Jess have thought about that? "It didn't mean anything..." he adds, an edge of desperation creeping in his voice. "I was a mess after Dean and she... we..."

"You were a hot-blooded man finding release with a consenting partner," Gabriel finishes. "Nothing wrong with that."

Sam stops, leaving Gabriel to clench around him.

"No..." he breathes, staring to the distance. "There isn't."

Yeah, he should have known better than to trust a demon and he should have thought twice when she offered him the supernatural equivalent of heroin. But the sex? That was just sex. Nothing worse than what Dean got up to, and Jess wouldn't have hated him for that. She'd had kinks of her own after all and she wouldn't have wanted him to stay celibate for her.

"Right," Gabriel agrees, breath still laboured. "So stop pussy footing around would ya? I _consent_."

Sam blinks down to him and is surprised by the simple want in the archangel's expression. Pure lust, nothing more.

He nods, pulls his fingers out with a slippery wet sound and reaches for the tube he discarded on the covers earlier. It doesn't take long to slick his cock with the stuff and Gabriel gives a sigh as he watches, rich with anticipation.

Sam's slower as he moves back this time, positioning himself carefully so the slide in will be as easy as possible. Hurting Gabriel doesn't seem as appealing anymore. The angel helps by shifting accordingly, palms resting lightly on Sam's waist while the hunter holds his own hands to Gabriel's shoulders.

Then he's pressing in, Gabriel's ass tightening around him, and the pleasure's so electric Sam finds himself crying out.

" _Fuck_ yeah!" Gabriel answers, dropping back to the mattress, legs curling round Sam's back.

Sam falls with him, cock burying even deeper inside the other man and both of them groan.

Ruby offered Sam this once, told him it'd be better for him, but he'd turned her down. Jess had never been interested and Sam had a vague, unformed idea he was maintaining some kind of standard by denying the demon, keeping at least part of himself pure. Fuck if she wasn't right. It was so much _tighter_ like this. So _hot_. So... wow...

He pulls out and makes a hesitant move back and Gabriel arches into him, eager, unintelligible sounds passing his lips. Sam looks down and finds the angel's eyes are closed - he's lost again, cock rock hard between them as the sensation takes over, and Sam goes with it, closes his own eyes and lets them move together.

The sound is just as beautiful as the feeling - no words, just hot breath, gasps and short bursts of noise. Nothing that Sam needs to think about. The only focus is the growing heat building in his dick and spreading out all over him. He's already so close he's whimpering. Just a little more... just a little...

He remembers the last time he made love to Jess. She'd been prancing about in that Halloween outfit, joking about playing doctor and nurse, spreading her legs on the chair by the bed. He remembers how the short plastic skirt had pulled up, exposing her lack of underwear, until he'd been forced to jump her right there, unzipping and thrusting in for a quickie over the seat, Jess laughing in delight beneath him, ecstatic that her provocation had worked so well. So fast. He hadn't lasted any time at all, when he should have savoured it. Should have ditched the party and spent the whole night with her, memorising her body, drawing out the pleasure for both of them.

He barely even remembers her skin now. How it curved. The number of freckles at the top of her thigh - when he _knows_ he used to kiss them, individually, every time he bent down to strip her. Clearer are the pictures of Ruby. The way she liked to be touched - rough circles down below combined with hard sucks to her lower jaw. The dip of her waist she liked him to grab as she rode him.

Sam gives a hard shake of his head. He doesn't want to think about that. And fuck, Jess might have been okay with mindless sex with other women, but a fallen angel? She'd never known about the supernatural side of life, of course, so he couldn't know for sure, but surely she'd disapprove, be disgusted even, maybe -

"Sam," Gabriel mutters tightly, leaning up to grip the side of the hunter's head, fingers twisting in his too-long hair, lips at his ear. "For once in your life, do yourself a favour..." He pulls himself closer, so Sam can feel the angel's cock wetting his stomach, feel the puffs of air as he annunciates each word. "Let. Go."

Sam feels himself quiver as the words sink in, his whole self stretched out tight enough to snap, just waiting to follow Gabriel's instruction.

And he does, a three-letter word he's been denying another angel for a long time now escaping him in a rush.

Jess, Ruby, Dean, even the Trickster and all his pranks - they're the past. And Sam leaves them there, just for the moment. There's nothing for him but the _now_ with it's _burningwhitefire_ ; nothing but the feeling spreading through his blood - demon or not, it doesn't matter - nothing but the slow, dreamy drop back down as the buzz starts to fade; nothing beyond the gentle tug out of the body below him; the slide of Gabriel's feet to the covers, knees still brushing Sam's waist; nothing but the arms encircling him as he drifts down to the angel's chest, head fitting in the dip below his collarbone, the rat-a-tat-tat of Gabriel's racing heart pounding in his ear. The smooth, treacle-like sound of the archangel's voice.

"Now that... that was beautiful."

Sam draws back to awareness and finds the world around him muffled, but in a good way. Like he's living in a cloud. Or candyfloss.

He lifts his head and Gabriel's staring down at him. He's not smiling, but he's _admiring_ nonetheless. Like Sam is a wonder of the world or something and Gabriel knew it all along, he'd just been waiting for proof. It makes Sam want to blush far more than anything else they've been doing.

"You should try it first hand," he says to break the moment, slipping his fingers between them and gripping the angel's cock tight.

Gabriel's eyes flicker closed at once and he drops his head back with a moan.

Sam can't say he in any way knows what he's doing, but with the angel as hard as he is he figures there's not much that _needs_ doing really, so he just strokes up and down like he's always done with himself. From the sounds Gabriel makes in response it seems satisfactory, at first at least. But then the angel starts making desperate thrusts into Sam's fist, moans turning high-pitched and anxious and reminding Sam of the guy's nightmare earlier. His arms fall to the mattress where his fingers curl strangely into the sheets, like he's trying not to click them, maybe? Or expressing his frustration at not being able to. Huh. Could that be how he'd always done it before? Cos, really, who _wouldn't_ make themselves - or others - come at a click of their fingers if they could?

Sam leans down, slowing his hand.

"You're trying too hard," he tells the angel gently. "Don't force it. Let it happen."

Gabriel relaxes a little bit at a time and opens his eyes into Sam's, a longing in his gaze that has Sam leaning in for a kiss. He doesn't know why, it just feels like the right thing to do. And it's not like their kisses before either, just lips mouthing lips. Practically chaste. Or it would be if his hand wasn't still moving steadily up and down the other's cock anyway. And yet, despite that, they somehow both get lost in it, one of them always coming back for more every time it seems to be over, until Gabriel's orgasm hits them both unawares. It's smooth as melted chocolate, with Gabriel moaning quietly into Sam's mouth while the hunter stokes him through the waves, hot liquid flowing down Sam's hand and wrist.

"Huh..." Gabriel breathes, falling, as opposed to pulling, away. His eyes open for a moment, then start to drift shut again. "So you... that... takes a lot out of you, doesn't it...?" he murmurs, and Sam smiles, oddly proud to be there to witness a post-coital fatigue overtake the angel for the first time and lead him into sleep.

 

***

 

Two days later Sam and Dean are packing up the Impala outside.

"One useless and _not_ unstoppable gun, check," Dean says bitterly, throwing the Colt in the trunk with their other weapons. "You got the knife?" he adds, turning to Sam.

His brother frowns back at him.

"You said you were bringing it."

"Yeah, I said that, but when I reached over it was gone. I figured _you'd_ grabbed it."

"Well, I didn't."

Dean huffs out a sigh and slams the lid down.

"Then I guess one of us better go back and get it."

"Yeah. The one who left it behind, maybe."

Dean grins.

"Cool. I'll wait for you..."

He heads to the driver's side and pulls the door open while Sam glares after him. But despite the narrowed eyes, there's very little malice in the look. The younger man doesn't need to see Dean's pause before he moves in to know the teasing is just for show and Dean is fully prepared to get the weapon himself if Sam presses the point. He doesn't _need_ to see it. But it's nice to be reminded how seriously Dean is taking him these days, how equal they've become.

Sam doesn't press the point. Truth be told, it's comforting playing out old conflicts like this. It's friendly and nostalgic and a show of their progress all at once.

"Whatever, jerk," he mutters, turning back to the motel, and smiles as Dean shoots back a "bitch" before dropping into the car.

The owner is more than happy to let Sam back in their room for a moment, urging the hunter to take as long as he needs. Sam hasn't seen more than one other customer the whole time they've been there and suspects the man hopes a further look will convince them to extend their stay. He'll be disappointed - they've lingered far longer than normal already.

When Sam steps back inside everything is much as they left it - unmade beds, used towels on the floor and unwashed cups in the sink. A relief because it means the cleaners haven't been in yet, and an ornate, engraved knife would have been a difficult piece of lost property to claim.

He moves to the nearest bed and starts rifling through the covers.

"Alone at last," a voice murmurs behind him and Sam jumps round to find that what had once been an empty table is now occupied by Gabriel, legs propped up on the wooden surface that not long ago had been holding the hunter's laptop, chair beneath him balanced precariously on two legs.

The angel is unperturbed by the position, however, and bites smugly into a half opened chocolate bar, his other hand gripping the handle of Ruby's knife and twisting the blade against his palm.

Sam blinks at him.

He'd been sewing up a bleeding Dean in the bathroom the last night the archangel spent in their company, so he hadn't seen Gabriel's reaction to the glowing gem Castiel and his brother brought back with them. He'd just caught the edge of the resultant blast of light as Gabriel accepted his younger brother's offer and broke the grace free from it. Sam hopes Cas got a 'thank you' at least, but from the clipped way the other angel's been talking about it, he suspects Gabriel wasn't so courteous.

He looks the knife up and down, unimpressed.

"You took our knife?" he says. "As pranks go that's kinda lame, isn't it?"

Gabriel licks his lips.

"I'm easing back into it," he shrugs, flipping the knife in the air and catching it blade first, without even leaving a scratch.

He holds it out and, after a moment, Sam walks over and takes it. He waits for more but Gabriel doesn't say anything.

"So... everything's working again then?" Sam asks, figuring he might as well check, since they're both here. That's just polite. "Your grace is... I dunno, settling back okay?"

Gabriel nods.

"Like a glove."

"Right..." Sam nods back. He holds for another beat then slips the knife into his jeans and turns towards the door. He can feel Gabriel's eyes boring into him all the way there, like the guy's waiting for something, although Sam hasn't a clue what.

As his hand reaches for the handle the tension finally gets too much and he spins round, eyeing Gabriel expectantly. The angel's clearly tricked him here for a reason and Sam wishes he'd just get on with it. But Gabriel just stares back at him, lips lightly curled, expression curious, like there's nothing going on here at all.

"Castiel said you were leaving," Sam says and it comes out accusing. "Going back into hiding."

"That's the plan," Gabriel agrees, popping the remainder of the chocolate bar into his mouth.

Sam watches him chew for a while, the empty wrapper in the angel's hand vanishing into the air as he uncurls his fingers, but there's nothing more. He's just turning back to the door when Gabriel speaks again.

"Unless someone convinces me otherwise."

Sam freezes. Because, as if he doesn't have enough on his shoulders, now it seems there's an _archangel_ asking for his advice, albeit in a roundabout way.

"Stopping Lucifer, saving humanity," he shrugs, trying to keep things light. "These aren't good enough for you?"

Gabriel twists his lips and bobs his head. The gesture should be mocking but Sam can't shake the idea the angel is seriously considering his suggestions.

"Hmmm... maybe," Gabriel concedes. "But what's in it for me?"

He lifts an eyebrow and Sam honestly can't tell if he's joking or not. And if he answers, what then? The question has all the hallmarks of a beginning - and of something just between them, _without Dean_ , because why else would the angel have lured him here alone? Although, Sam supposes Gabriel _might_ have acted the same if Dean had been the one to return, or the two of them had come back together. It's possible. It just... doesn't seem likely. No, Gabriel wants _him_ to answer this, to give a reason to stick around for the final fight, and considering his track record with non-humans the hunter figures a one on one relationship with an angel is really not a good idea.

He reaches a hand to the door. The same hand he'd had wrapped around Gabriel's cock less than two nights ago.

His lips spread to a grin and he just can't help himself.

"I've got some chocolate flavoured condoms," he says, lifting a shoulder in half a shrug.

There's a soft thump and Sam turns to find the chair Gabriel was balanced on back on all fours. Empty.

Huh. So much for -

"Get some body paint and we'll talk," a voice mutters in his ear and Sam jumps to find the angel leaning in behind him, eyes sparkling with all too familiar mischief, grin wide. "I'll be in touch."

Another blink and he's gone again.

Sam smiles into the empty room. A smile that, if anyone asks, is because he might have just convinced an archangel to fight on their side in the war between Heaven and Hell.

Because the thought of seeing Gabriel again is certainly not making him smile for any other reason.

Nope.

 

***

 

"What the fuck are you humming?" Dean asks a while later once they've hit the road.

"Nothing..."

Sam's all innocence as his brother looks over.

It doesn't seem to convince the elder hunter, but since humming can hardly be said to contribute, in any meaningful way at least, to the end of the world, Dean simply shrugs and reaches for a Metallica cassette.

Despite the ear splitting volume of the track Dean chooses though, Sam's mind is still playing through one of the songs Pastor Jim taught them at Sunday school.

_Come on and blow, Gabriel, blow..._

 

~ **fin** ~


End file.
